The secret to harmony aboard
Issue 77 : Mar/Apr 2011
There is aboard some couples’ sailboats a phenomenon known aboard our boat as “the Princess Principle.” This is a condition in which the guy (usually) tries extra hard at all times to make sure his sailing partner will always want to continue sailing with him. The last words any gung-ho sailor — take my husband, Jerry, for example — ever wants to hear are: “You know, honey, I’d be a lot more comfortable, and probably happier, at home.”
I have heard that the secret to marital bliss — on land anyway — is a 60/40 arrangement in which each partner gives 60 percent. The 60/40 ratio theoretically applies everywhere that couple goes, including aboard their boat. But in practice, for many couples, once aboard, one partner consistently gives 60 percent while the other gives 40 percent.
Jerry and I each do our own parts at home and our marriage is strong for it. I like to think I do my part aboard also, but we both know the ratio is somewhat skewed on the water. If it needs superior strength, Jerry does it. If the conditions are miserable and longer endurance is required, Jerry does it. Our boat doesn’t have any canvas protection for the cockpit, for example. A dodger can’t be fitted beneath our very low boom. Most of the time, we like the improved visibility and increased freedom of movement on deck. But when it’s raining, the fellow at Mystic’s helm is rained upon. (Fellow, you notice; I take shorter watches at the helm and longer watches at the navigation station below in our dry cabin.)
Speaking of the helm, Jerry’s on it at least 60 percent to my 40 percent, rain or shine. Perhaps I have a shorter attention span, but I eventually find a reason to turn on the autopilot and maintain a watch without the continued drudgery of hand steering.
Further proof of the Princess Principle in operation on our boat is that, over the years, my every wish has been Jerry’s command and every complaint thoughtfully received to the point that I have to be careful what I wish for. This is not necessarily true at home. Early in our sailing days, I complained that our personal hygiene was not up to basic standards. I told him I would prefer to shower more often than every three to five days when we finally arrived at a marina for fuel or a pumpout. As a result, we soon had novel and ever-improving methods for showering aboard.
Jerry also made sure I was satisfied with our ability to store food and eat well aboard. Another part of his philosophy is not to let me feel overburdened with the planning, provisioning, cooking, and cleaning up. Ditto for the laundry that accumulates while we’re cruising. He does his part in the galley and laundry room once we’re home (or aboard with the bucket and plunger when the cruise is a long one).
And he bought me the best foul weather gear we could find. Never let the Princess get hungry or cold and wet. That’s his motto. I think of it as the Princess Principle. It’s a good gig, as long as I get to be the princess.
Thank you to Sailrite Enterprises, Inc., for providing free access to back issues of Good Old Boat through intellectual property rights. Sailrite.com
