Anything for love, right? Or was it something else…
Issue 136: Jan/Feb 2021
This fool thinks I’m going to buy his boat. I can tell by the look on his face, he thinks I’m hooked. He hasn’t a clue. This is a racing boat. I’m a cruising boat man. Always have been. I’m here because of June.
June and I were sitting on the yacht club veranda a couple of days earlier, drinking beer and sharing a plate of fries. She pointed to the row of boats in the marina below. “That front one. She’s very pretty.”
“Racing boat, not for us. We agreed on a cruising boat.”
“Yes, but she looks so nice. Maybe just phone the owner and see how she sails.”
Oh lord. June and her “maybes.”
I told her I would, anything to keep the marital peace.
I had to call three times to arrange for a sail. Now, out on the water in a full-sail breeze, the seller is leering at me and saying, “Very handy to weather.”
Well, yes, I can feel that. She’s a 28-foot C&C design, one of their finest. It’s no surprise she’s good to weather; I don’t need him to tell me that. I’m a sailor too.
Very handy to weather doesn’t mean I want her. Entirely the wrong kind of boat. June and I agreed on a cruising boat, something with a comfortable double bed and a fridge for beer. This low-slung, lightweight racing machine is not in our future; I only wish this seller could understand that.
“Try her on a reach,” he says, slacking off the main. “See how nicely she tracks?”
I can acknowledge that she fairly flies across the long, lazy swells from the east. Hardly needs a finger on the tiller. Quite a thoroughbred. But none of that matters to me.
“Pretty sheerline,” he says.
Sure, just about everybody at the club has mentioned that at one time or another. So? I might even say delicate, her sheerline. Goes with that cute little retroussé stern. She is one of the last really pretty IOR racers. After her they went all fat and funny.
We run for home. He raises the spinnaker and I trim from the helm. She holds up her head and sends spray flying, millions of tiny drops glittering in the afternoon sun.
“Like her?”
I don’t like that obnoxious, confident grin. “She’s OK,” I offer, “just not what we’re looking for, I’m afraid.” Like he’s going to catch me like that!
June’s waiting at the slip when we get in. She takes one look at me. “You’re going to buy her, aren’t you?”
I’m offended. “Wha…how can you say that?”
“You’ve got that silly look.”
“I do not. What silly look?”
“You’re in love.”
I don’t know what she’s talking about. I love June, but I have to admit that sometimes she’s a little obtuse.
The owner invites June below. I smile and shake my head. Good luck with that, pal. No room to swing even half a cat down there.
June sticks her head up. “She’s got the sweetest little galley. Sure you don’t want to buy her?”
I start to repeat the bit about how we agreed on a cruising boat; but she’s got that pleading look. I remind myself that she has been a good wife. All those years. “Maybe, if that’s what you really want,” I say quietly. “If it makes you happy.”
Strange creatures, women. We’d agreed to buy a solid, safe boat and now she’s practically begging to buy this beguiling courtesan, this seductive, curvaceous little beauty that sails like a witch. And I’ll go along with her. Anything to keep the peace.
I just wish that seller would wipe that irritating grin off his face.
John Vigor is a former managing editor of Sea magazine and the author of 10 books on boating subjects, ranging from a children’s adventure novel through several reference books to a travel-adventure memoir, Small Boat to Freedom. He has contributed numerous stories to Cruising World, Sail, Practical Boat Owner, Yachting World, Good Old Boat, South African Yachting, 48° North, Latitude 38, and others. As a newspaper journalist, he worked on three continents and wrote a daily humor column for large metro dailies for nearly 20 years. He lives in Bellingham, Washington.
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